Something strange arrived in the post today. It had been cleared by the New Zealand Ministry of Agriculture and Fisheries and had arrived from Australia.

More accurately from Bruce, my Bother in Law.

It was a Didgeridoo.

It was with some trepidation that I unravelled the miles of bubble wrap to reveal the beast. It is quite a handsome thing if musical instruments can be described as such.

attempting to master the Didgeridoo

Having seen Rolf Harris on the TV play one I gave it a shot…..and failed…..miserably. Far from making impressive aboriginal music I made the sound of a flatulent elephant or so I imagined one would sound never having witnessed such an event.

So I resorted to reading the little pamphlet that came with it.

It says this is a ‘hand cut, handcrafted, termite eaten eucalyptus tree bushwood’ instrument.

It continues, “The Didgeridoo or Yidaki which is the true indigenous universal name is a spiritual instrument made form trees & earth (terrible ants). It is known to be one of the world’s oldest musical wind instruments”.

I was not doing this instrument justice at all.

It has a musical key of E major for goodness sake!

I am reliably informed that with practice I can play traditional didgeridoo rhythms such as:

Drone, Musical key of the didge [sic]

Kookaburra screams

Kangaroo

Boomerang

Waka du (fast rhythm)

Bush tucker ‘Ta Ka’

Horn (toot)

It omits that famous tune:

Elephant’s blast.

The final piece of advice the little pamphlet offers is “to play the didgeridoo, take a deep breath into your lungs, then puff up your cheeks and blow out slowly, while relaxing and vibrating your lips like a motor car sound, bbbrroommm….!

The neighbours are going to love this!!